My Dog Taught & Inspired Me
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At 12.5 years old, our Cleo was diagnosed with a soft ball sized tumor. The vet then told us she maybe had a few months, just watch for the signs; you’ll know when its time. We got borrowed time with our precious girl and and as of Halloween, Cleo had turned the ripe old age of 14. In her 14 years she gave so much of her furry self. She taught and inspired me.
November, Cleo had deteriorated very quickly. She looked like she had bloat. She was still eating and enjoying her butt and ears scratched. A few days later she couldn’t get up on her own too much and wasn’t eating much and not pooping. I ran to the pet store, got some different food and yogurt to see if that help at all. By Monday, 11/21, reality setting in. Wednesday I called the vet to make THE appt– tried for that night, but they could only give me Black Friday.
Thanksgiving day was hour by hour, minute by minute. Cleo could no longer wait if we wanted her sent to Heaven peacefully. Nine o’clock at night and on the hunt for the animal hospital where a woman I know and worked with was a vet tech. Not that she was going to be there that specific night, but just the comfort of knowing who she is and what she is like is the place I knew would be the place for our Cleo and us.
Crossing Rainbow Bridge Inspiration
After, we gave Cleo our Christmas gift; her ultimate gift in life and the staff asked if we’d like a clay paw print. A few minutes later, out came a paper plate with her clay paw print and a tuft of her hair. I’ve never witnessed a euthanizing. I never left side of my 4 legged best friend when she took her last breath. My ex-hubby and daughter made the same decision. Aside from my pain of loosing yet another loved one, It was one of the most beautiful and peaceful things to witness for me. (Should be legal for terminally ill humans too.)
Silence so Deafening
Thanksgiving night and it’s 11 pm and my 8 yo princess, emotionally spent like her dad and I, was a trooper. She’s witnessed so much in her young years of human existence, but managed to fall asleep. I sat on my bed, the TV on, but not really watching. The sound on the TV goes out for a few. I now know what is meant by “the silence is so deafening.” I thought my ears were going to pop!
I watched my father die a slow death; he too received “borrowed” time. I took it very hard. It sent me into a destructive spiral-maybe I never let myself hear that deafening silence. When my father in law, died the prior year, it hurt so much, but not as much as the first time. I loved that man as my own father. But the loss of my Cleo, our Cleo, was different.
That’s when I learned…
I was brought up humanizing our dogs. Cleo I will always consider my 1st born. However, pets are amazingly and uniquely different I learned. Not more then 8 hours after sending Cleo to Heaven, I realized I needed to have the role of a dog in the house. My husband woke and he eagerly agreed. We explained to our daughter that a new dog was not a replacement for Cleo. No other dog could ever be her. Instead a new pup will fill the role a dog plays in our household.
We readied ourselves and headed to same place I adopted Cleo from nearly 14 years ago. As a family, we kept telling tales of Cleo from her puppy days when she was mine alone to before my daughter came and the life Cleo lived after having my daughter. I hung her collar in my car before leaving the driveway to the shelter.
Buddy’s Introduction
We couldn’t agree on a dog as a family, until we saw Buddy. My husband and I went in hoping to find a older pup. Instead, 3 month old Buddy chose us when my ex held him and he rested is snout on his shoulder. A few hours later, he was deemed ours.
Our beautiful Cleo was a Sheppard/Chow mix. Kind of fluffy with Shep colors, 56 pounds at passing, big fluffy tightly curled tale with a slight mane and satellite dish ears. She was majestic and regal! Our Buddy is a Shep/Hound mix, with long legs that seem to go forever (might be a small horse when grown–a lovely surprise) just right length floppy ears and a tail that I’m sure will be a whipping agent as he grows.
Inspiration
I still mourn the loss of Cleo. But, I realized the 1st night with Buddy in his, the sound of silence wasn’t deafening anymore. Having Buddy, hasn’t eased the pain of my personal loss. He wasn’t meant to. He is here as the inspiration. Buddy is the inspiration Cleo gave me. He is the inspiration to know that an animal lover has the fantastically unique choice to wait or not to wait to give another a loving home.